Catching Up and Falling Back

For a while now I’ve been saying that I feel like I am ready to move forward.  I am ready to start seriously thinking about the future.  With nearly 3 years of marriage under my belt, I feel like I’m not so scared to think about becoming a mom and settling into a more permanent place.  I feel older and wiser and ready to make those changes.
photo by Erin Hearts Court
However, as I have been struggling to adjust to living life without the boy around and all the craziness of the past few weeks, I find myself wishing I could go back to simpler times.  When the boy and I could just be and there wasn’t any pressure for us to be any more responsible than a couple of kids in love.
I suppose this is what happens.  You coast the line between feeling like a grown up and feeling just as you did when you were about 18– clueless.  That’s not to say I’m ungrateful for the ways the years have changed me.  I mean, my gosh I was a complete idiot back in the day.  But lately, I’ve been thinking that I wouldn’t mind trading in some of my life lessons for a bit of my old carefree nature.  It would be nice to go back to that time before worries hadn’t been stacked up so high and my days were filled with sonnets, similies, songs and snogs.  Maybe that’s why memories are so comforting.  Reminiscing is like doing a trust fall, back into the best parts of your past.  I hope mine are ready to catch me now!

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